Monday, January 31, 2005

Kerry blames defeat on Bin Laden

US Democratic Senator John Kerry says a video message from Osama Bin Laden sealed his defeat in a presidential race dominated by the 9/11 attacks.

Mr Kerry told NBC TV his opinion poll lead over President George W. Bush fell away after the tape was broadcast.

Osama Bin Laden's video, shown days before the vote, urged Americans to back neither Mr Bush nor Mr Kerry.

Kerry went on to say,"I spoke with Osama days earlier and he assured me that he would publicly endorse me just before the election. I guess it's a case of classic bin Laden flip-flopping".

Efforts to get a response from Bin Laden were largely unsuccessful, but an al-Qaida spokesman reached in Pakistan said "Mr. Bin Laden has been very clear regarding his video just prior to the U.S. Elections.First he voted for endorsing Kerry,then he voted against it".

'Errors of judgment' made in paying Williams

Education Secretary Margaret Spellings for the first time acknowledged "errors of judgment" by the Bush administration in paying a prominent black pundit to promote its education policies, saying she has halted work on the contract.

The admission, in a letter to lawmakers, came as Congress' investigative arm on Friday opened a probe into the $240,000 contract with commentator Armstrong Williams, who has admitted that the deal was a mistake.

The USA TODAY first reported on Jan. 7 that the Education Department last year paid Williams, former protege of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas,to advocate for its No Child Left Behind law and urge other black journalists to do the same.

Sen. Edward Kennedy , D-Mass., on Friday said, "The president said that his Cabinet agencies made a mistake when they paid commentators to promote his agenda. It's more than just a mistake, it is an abuse of taxpayer funds and and someone should be held accountable." Kennedy added, "If your gonna spend the taxpayer's money and have some black guy pimp for you, your not gonna go out and pick some uncle tom who looks like a cross between Steve Eurkel and Orville Redenbacher". Kennedy went on to say "And make no mistake, if it there were a Democrat in the White House, you would have at least seen us go and get P.Diddy, if not Oprah".

Judge Backs Guantanamo Detainee Challenges

WASHINGTON - A federal judge ruled Monday that foreign terror suspects held in Cuba can challenge their confinement in U.S. courts and she criticized the Bush administration for holding hundreds of people without legal rights.

Judge Joyce Hens Green, handling claims filed by about 50 detainees at the U.S. Navy base at Guantanamo Bay, said the Supreme Court made clear last year that they have constitutional rights that lower courts should enforce.

"Although this nation unquestionably must take strong action under the leadership of the commander in chief to protect itself against enormous and unprecedented threats," she wrote, "that necessity cannot negate the existence of the most basic fundamental rights, including the rights of foreigners to blow up American citizens simply because of their love for Fast Food and Sports Utility Vehicles."

In addition, Green said that the government's definition of whom it can detain indefinitely may be too broad. She cited as an example given in an earlier court hearing, "a little old lady in Switzerland who writes a check to what she thinks is a charity that helps orphans in Afghanistan but (what) really is a front to finance al-Qaida activities." Green added " Without protecting the rights of al-Qaida to use little old ladies to help finance operations, we will never be able to undermine the security of the United States and bring down the devilish conservative politics of George W. Bush".

Giving terrorism the purple finger

WASHINGTON -- The badge of honor in Iraq Sunday was a purple stain on the index finger, a sign that its owner had defied threats, bombs, and terrorists to vote in the country's first free election in more than 50 years. Each voter had his or her finger indelibly stained after dipping it in a cup of purple ink to avoid fraud, and the mark will take three or four days to be effectively removed.

Many analysts were concerned that the purple stained figure would make the voter an easier target for terrorists. However, it was determined by election officials that the purple finger posed less risks to citizens than some of the other proposals that were made in pre-election meetings between officials. In one,proponents argued for having citizens dip their fingers in camel shit as a detterent to terrorist action. They reasoned that suicide bombers would not want to get too close to someone who smells like camel shit just before meeting with 72 virgins in heaven.Also rejected was a proposal to have citizens dip their fingers in Hummos, but that was rejected out of hand for fear that it would actually attract terrorists, who , despite political differences, are like all other Iraqi's in their love for the indelible taste of a freshly made batch of homemade hummos.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Iraqis Await Poll Results

As praise poured in from around the world,Iraqis anxiously await the results of a historic election that drew voters out in greater-than-expected numbers.Election workers are racing to count ballots by hand -- in some cases by candlelight because of widespread power outages -- to decide the outcome of Iraq's first multi-party vote in nearly half a century.

President Bush hailed the election as a "resounding success." He had looked to the vote as a turning point in the troubled 22-month U.S. military presence in Iraq.

But the ballot counting, all but certain to bring a Shi'ite party to power, is facing some heavy criticism from other political factions competing for govermental seats. Rumors are swirling around Baghdad that the fledgling Iraqi Insurgent Party may demand a recount. According to an Insurgent Party spokesman, "we are investigating reports that the voting was free and fair and that there were no hanging Abdullahs". However, rival party members quickly dismissed the insurgents complaints.As one rival member of the Iraqi Republican Party put it "the insurgents are simply out of touch with the values of the average Iraqi." He added "those liberal insurgents just don't get it, morals count."

Friday, January 28, 2005

Judge still considering whether to show Jackson film to jurors

Judge still considering whether to show Jackson film to jurors
With jury selection set to begin Monday, the judge in Michael Jackson's child-molestation case is still considering whether jurors should see a British documentary about the pop star.

Superior Court Judge Rodney Melville scheduled a pretrial hearing for Friday to address those and other questions related to witnesses and evidence.

Jackson, 46, has pleaded not guilty to charges of molesting a 13-year-old boy and plying him with alcohol.

Jury selection could last as long as a month, with the judge and attorneys for both sides expected to screen as many as 750 prospective jurors.

The inflammatory documentary,which aired on ABC-TV in 2003,contains footage of the two holding hands and Jackson defending his practice of sleeping in the same bed with children.

Prosecutors want the jury to see the documentary. Defense lawyers object, denouncing it as "actually kind of boring" and "lacking any semblence of a plot ."

Prosecutors have also subpoenaed Martin Bashir, the film's director, to testify about the making of the documentary, titled "Jesus Juice: The Key to Getting Young Boys in the Sack." Bashir, who is fighting the subpoena, has been reported as saying "I was young, I needed the money" and "it's tough for a young documentarian to get any work at all".

A coalition of international media covering the high-profile case, including The Associated Press, is arguing that the boys' testimony should not be closed.

"I don't know about the guys down at CNN and FOX, but we really need this, revenue is down, and our readers love this shit", argued attorney Theodore Boutrous.

"The ability to observe, not merely to listen or read, testimony of one of the most famous people on the planet trying to get off with an innocent young boy is a fundamental aspect of the public's First Amendment right to titillation ," Boutrous wrote in a brief.

French Goat Gets Mad Cow

A French goat slaughtered in 2002 had tested positive for "mad cow", the French agriculture ministry said, in what is the first known case in the world of the illness occurring in an animal other than a bovine.In Brussels, the European Commission said that confirmation of mad cow disease in the goat was the first time ever the condition has crossed over from bovines to another species.

"It's the first natural case in the world," European Commission spokesman Philip Tod told Agence France-Presse, explaining that goats had been teased and taunted in laboratories in efforts to step up cheese production, but that "We just thought they were depressed, like everyone else in France".

The spokesman added that this is particularly suprising because "unlike cows, who had been pissed for years because we kept making hamburger out of them, goats knew that their cheese was second rate and that they were lucky to have been getting their titties squeezed at all".

Monday, January 24, 2005

Iraqi Elections Heating Up

In further signs that the democratic election process is alive and well in Iraq, top Iraqi officials dismissed reports that former Pentagon favorite Ahmed Chalabi would be arrested for slander as merely "electioneering" and "partisan posturing"by rival for Prime Minister, Hazem Shaalan. In related Iraqi election news, the fledgling Iraqi al-Qaeda Party rolled out its new "Don't Get Out and Vote" program on Monday by sending a homicide bomber to interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi's party headquarters, injuring ten. According to al-Qaeda Party campaign director Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, "we really wanted to kick off the final days of the campaign with a big bang".

India and China Open First-Ever Strategic Dialogue

India and China have held their first-ever strategic dialogue in the Indian capital. The dialogue marks a significant step forward in bilateral ties between two countries that were at odds throughout the Cold War. According to the Indian foreign ministry spokesman Navtej Sarna "The launching of this new dialogue mechanism between the two countries is significant as the rapid modernization of each country cannot be ignored" Sarna added "dramatic economic cooperation between the growing Asian powers was vital to the success of each". Sarna went on to say that projects from this new Asian superpower alliance "were already underway" and included the opening of a Panda Express inside a 7/11 franchise in Paramus, New Jersey as well as a new global advertising campaign designed to promote Pan Asian economic projects titled "Made in China, Call Answered in India".

Friday, January 21, 2005

Beware of Tolerance Pledge, Conservative Group Says

A conservative group believes the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants and his sidekick, Patrick the starfish, are being used in a new music video to promote the homosexual agenda to schoolchildren. A spokesman for Focus on the Family told the New York Times that it sees the music video as an "insidious" attempt by the nonprofit We Are Family Foundation to manipulate and brainwash children. The music video, released in November, features SpongeBob, Big Bird, Clifford, Arthur, Barney and many other cartoon characters, all singing the hit song, "We Are Family." According to a Focus on the Family spokesman, this is not the first time that a nonprofit group has been guilty of promoting homosexuality to school aged children. Other well known nonprofit groups that have been caught in the crosshairs of controversy include the San Fransico based Village People Foundation and the Catholic Church.